Such a Hopeless Place
by DoctorTheTwitch
Summary: The first few moments of vulnerability were always the worst; knowing just how many monsters lurked around the corner, yet having to step into the open anyway. Family can be like that too: knowing how many demons lie behind a loved one's eyes and being completely unable to help in the fight against them.


Rain splattered against long-since soaked concrete, ricocheting off the dull surfaces like miniature bombs on impact. Discarded newspapers, food wrappers and flyers plastered themselves to the sidewalk, waterlogged to the point of transparency. Lightning flashed duly behind the thick gray blanket of clouds, the only indication of its existence a brief patch of gray brighter than the rest for the length of a heartbeat. Tree branches whipped viciously back and forth, constantly on the verge of snapping in the bipolar gusts.

No one in their right mind would be out in a storm like this, with the rain stinging like miniscule projectiles against exposed skin and the wind threatening to topple even the steadiest of foot. The color of the sky, reminiscent of a day old bruise, was enough to ward away even the pickpockets and lurkers that usually prowled New York City's alleys and underpasses. Not a soul could be seen on the streets, sporadic streetlights being the only hint that living creatures were the most common passersby on the currently deserted fareways.

Living creatures. The foreboding of the churning sky and pounding rain had no sway on the soulless. If nothing else, they thrived on it. Demons didn't stop in the dark and wet of a stormy night and neither did their hunters.

Electricity in the upper atmosphere sifted from the clouds and fell with the rain, leaving the smell of magic in its wake. It stung like acid on the tongue with an impossibly sweet aftertaste that lingered for hours even after it was gone. Breathing deep, Alexander Lightwood looked to his parabatai where he stood on the roof of a nearby warehouse one last time before stepping away from the alley that had served as his hiding place.

The first few moments of vulnerability were always the worst; knowing just how many monsters lurked around the corner, yet having to step into the open anyway. It was usually Jace who played the role of bait while Alec held the higher ground with his bow at the ready to pick off unsuspecting demons, but they had decided to see how they could switch it up tonight. Regular hunts had gotten boring lately; it seemed the monsters under the bed weren't so inclined to come out and play anymore. Alec was just fine with this turn of events. Logically, less time fighting demons meant more time at home with those he loved, more time spent in an impossibly comfortable bed with a certain impossibly warm warlock. On the other hand, Jace seemed the opposite. He would rather leave the Institute at dusk and not return till after the sun had risen nearly to the center of the sky, returning with barely enough energy to drag himself to a random bed in which he would then sleep like the dead until the moon rose once again.

There wasn't a day gone by that Alec didn't worry for his brother, but he never blamed Jace for dragging him out hunting. Alec knew how hard it was to be faced with memories of a loved one at every turn, how the glint of light off a blade or the gentle breeze from an open window could stir the pain of a loss that was never quite forgotten. He didn't mind accompanying Jace on his many ventures into the unknown dangers of the darkened metropolis, not making a fuss when an unexpected text summoned him away from an evening with the man he so rarely saw anymore. Alec knew that it was a pattern that could not sustain itself for long, but the alternative in his mind was so much worse. He would rather give up a few stolen moments of happiness than be absent when Jace needed him the most.

Alec didn't move when he caught a flash out of the corner of his eye, years of experience keeping him from giving away his awareness of a demonic presence. When one played bait, one could not afford to relinquish the element of surprise. Trained muscles tensing slightly as adrenaline coursed through his system, Alec prepared to lash out at what he suspected to be a Shax demon. He whirled, concealed seraph blade sliding comfortably into his grip as he slashed an arc of fire across the sheeting rain, meeting no resistance as it sliced through empty air.

Sliding into a crouch to keep his weight steady, Alec whipped his head around to scan the seemingly deserted street. He could have sworn he saw something...a flash of gold in his peripheral vision and Alec struck out again letting reflex take over, bringing the shining blade back up to collide unexpectedly with one of its brethren. Alec looked up to face his opponent, blazing golden eyes the only sources of light in an otherwise pallid face, normally light hair turned dark bronze by the rain hanging in his eyes. He needed a haircut. And a good night's sleep.

"Jace," Alec relaxed his stance, dropping his arm and blade as Jace did the same. "How many?"

"Five." Alec turned slowly, looking back toward the alley he had emerged from moments before. There in the shadows lay the broken bodies of four other Shax, already starting to fade away into nothingness as they dissolved back to their home dimensions. The pouring rain washed away the black blood in thick ribbons that grew narrower and narrower until there was not a sign that the demons had existed at all.

"I thought you were going to at least let me get a few this time," Alec teased, looking back to his parabatai with a weak smile. A muscle in Jace's cheek twitched.

"Maybe next time."

Jace turned on a heel and started off down the flooded street, not pausing to check that Alec was following him. Unable to hold it in, Alec let out a small sigh, mouth puckering in concern as he followed his blood brother. He didn't know where they were going but that wasn't unusual; Alec wasn't there to know where they were going or what they were killing. Catching up to the golden-haired Shadowhunter, Alec kept pace with him easily, their strides syncing unconsciously. The percussion of the rain against the concrete was the only sound for a long time as Alec debated whether or not to break the silence. He'd tried before to coax more than a sentence from Jace, but it had never worked. Eventually he had given up. Alec wasn't sure why he wanted to break that streak tonight.

"I've been thinking-" the elder of the two started tentatively before he was cut off.

"You should go home."

Their pace didn't slow as Alec took in the first words Jace had spoken that were not in answer to a direct question or comment in months. Recovering quickly, Alec knew this was a rare opportunity and was not about to waste it.

"I'm along with you for the night, Jace. It can't be past two, yet." Alec tried to get his voice to sound normal, not like he was talking to a child or an animal that he was scared of frightening away.

"I'll call Izzy. You should go home. Be with Magnus."

"Jace, I-"

"I'm keeping you away from him. It's not good for your relationship. We all know it."

The clipped sentences that Alec had grown so accustomed to over the past months were just as flat and emotionless as they had been since that day. Jace wasn't getting better; they couldn't deny it any more.

"Jace, you don't need to be worrying about-"

"The hell I don't." A sentiment that would have been infused with vigor and passion before now fell flat against Alec's ears. This is what hurt the most. He hadn't realized it before as he hadn't carried on a conversation of this length or complexity with his parabatai in far too long, but now that they were talking it was painfully obvious how dead he was. "It's not fair to either of you. When was the last time you went out? Did normal...couple things."

The hesitation in Jace's voice was more pronounced than any other hesitation Alec had observed in the formerly cocky Shadowhunter. They were silent for a long time. The rain had slowed as they walked, calming to a mild rainfall instead of the torrential downpour from before. Alec knew he couldn't let Jace go off alone, but the temptation of being able to sleep curled against his boyfriend was strong. Darting a quick glance at the other man, Alec figured that Jace already knew the pull of the offer but he didn't show it. Pale skin was arranged in a mask of careful dullness, even the burning eyes were crystallized into a flame frozen and cracked. Nothing got in or out.

"I'll call Izzy now if it makes you feel better. I know that neither of you wants me to be alone."

Jace's observation didn't surprise Alec. The remaining Lightwood siblings hadn't exactly been discreet in their expression of concern for their brother. It didn't matter if he knew, so long as he didn't resist. All of this would be truly impossible if Jace had it in his mind to resist them. Mulling over Jace's offer, Alec finally realized where they were. Brooklyn, only a few streets away from the apartment of the High Warlock. It appeared that Alec wouldn't be having much of a choice in terms of taking the night off. A flash of silver brought his attention back to Jace who was quietly dialing Isabelle Lightwood's phone number. After a few moments it sounded like she picked up the phone and Jace muttered an address and a few other words that Alec couldn't quite catch over the muffling effect of the rain.

"She's on her way." Jace shut the phone and went back to staring directly ahead of him, the same blank mask on his face saying that he didn't see anything in front of him. The silence felt heavier now as they walked, in part due to the rain decreasing further into a sprinkle, the dull roar of the rain and thunder almost completely gone now.

A few minutes more walking and they were on a street as familiar to Alec as the back of his hand. Unconsciously lengthening his stride, Jace didn't protest as they approached the old building. As they neared, a figure became clear, outlined by the faint orange glow of the porch light and leaning against the front door waiting for them.

"Hey, strangers," Isabelle called, a small smile on her lips. Alec smiled back, waving a little. It felt like he hadn't seen her in a week. He probably hadn't. Walking up the front steps, Alec wrapped his little sister in a brief hug, thanking her without words as best as he could. She gripped him back tightly and Alec noticed her lack of gear. "I'm sorry," he whispered, hoping it was too low for Jace to hear. From her less than practical outfit, it was clear that she had been out on a date with Simon nearby, probably why she had already been there waiting.

Alec let her go and started undoing his thick, leather jacket, handing it over to her. Slipping it on, she nodded at him, letting him know that she didn't blame him. More than that, her eyes seemed to communicate a certain gratefulness as well as understanding.. You deserve a break. Alec imagined they said.

"Goodnight, Alec," she said in farewell before slipping away from the warmly lit doorway, following Jace into the darkness. Watching them go, all Alec could think was how broken everything was. Broken into so many pieces, each having edges that cut like knives when he tried to pick them up. Taking a deep breath, Alec turned to the door that meant home and tried to forget about how many cuts he had as he pulled the key out of his pocket and opened the door.

**A/N: I'm thinking this will only be a two-shot unless something bigger drops from the sky, but I've got enough projects going with LastestFromTheAsylum right now to last us a lifetime :)**


End file.
